'Put things into perspective.'
Something I'm quite often having to/being told to do.
I am a worrier. There's no doubt about it.
I worry about everything and anything.
Most of the time it's work, and at my age (15 for any of you who couldn't be bothered to read my about me!), there's quite a lot of it.
My school (don't ask me why) decided that their students would start building up to their GCSEs in year nine. It's the only school in the area (as far as I know) who have done this, so many of my friends outside of school started them a year later than me... even though they're still in the same year as me (stay with it, it's confusing, I know! Think how I feel.)
In year eight, my year chose our options, and in year nine, we begun studying them, and dropped all the other non-core subjects. I'm now in year ten, so GCSEs are well and truly upon us (as our teachers seem to love frequently mentioning, and terrifying us with).
The advantages to having started our choices in year 9 are that we've had an extra year to prepare for our exams, and that in some subjects (if they think we're ready) we can take them in year 10 (a year early).
The disadvantage, however, was that we were only in year 8 when we chose them, and I don't know about anyone else, but back then, I still really wasn't all that sure on what I was wanting to do with my life, so had to pick a few subjects which I thought, whichever job I know I'll probably choose, I'll have a GCSE in.
I realise I have now gone off on a bit of a tangent, but there is a reason for this:
The subjects I chose were art, dance, geography and drama, which just so happened to be possibly the most practical subjects out of most people in my year, which mean't extra individual work, which probably didn't help with the whole 'worrying about work' thing.
Now before any of you start thinking anything, I don't care whether or not you think I've made silly choices, believe me I've had the 'oh she'll never get into University with those subjects' look many times before, so shut it.
The reason I chose these subjects is not because I'm not very academic, because actually I was offered a more academic pathway, and offered triple science... so there!
It was because I just feel like I'm better at the more 'arty' subjects, and knew I wanted to do something to do with that when I left.
So to any of you are thinking 'stupid girl, should have chosen a language! She'll never get a place at uni!':
a) I don't want to go to University - yes I said it - I want to go to stay on for Sixth form, then go to art collage - shoot me.
b) I would've thought art GCSE is more important to get into art collage than french or spanish wouldn't you? I mean, if you think about it:
Collage interviewer - Hi! So what did you get in GCSE art?
Me - Oh I didn't do it, but I did do french GCSE!
Collage interviewer - Oh nevermind, you're in, even if you're rubbish at art, which you very well may be because we haven't seen any of your work, you've still got a GCSE in french, and that's great!
Isn't very likely to happen now is it?
c) I hate french. It's the worst subject - in my opinion.
d) I'm not going to start a whole new language (i.e: spanish) just because I don't like french.
Anyway.
Okay so basically I worry.
And the subjects I've chosen probably haven't aided that, as I have tonnes of extra work I should be/need to be doing. It's not just a case of,
'Oh I've done my French essay homework, I'll just chill, and then do a bit of revision in a couple of hours.'
more
'OH MY GOODNESS WHAT AM I DOING SAT AROUND HERE I SHOULD BE SKETCHING, PRACTISING MY SOLO COMPOSITION, LOOKING AT MY MONOLOGUE, DOING MY GEOGRAPHY PROJECT I'M WASTING MY LIFE I SHOULD BE DOING SOMETHING GAAAAAHHHHHH!'
See what I mean.
If I was older, and had already been through my GCSEs I would now probably go onto saying something like:
'Oh don't worry, you'll be fine, don't worry about work too much, just enjoy being a teenager!'
But I'm not. And I am worrying.
So what's the point in this blog post?
Basically just to say that it's not just you stressing about exams and the rest of your life, which I'm guessing, if you're my age you probably are. Everyone else is too.
And yes, like me, you may be watching tv, looking at all these people older at you, and shouting
'IT'S ALRIGHT FOR YOU. YOU HAVE A JOB. YOU'VE DONE YOUR GCSES', at them, eventhough they can't hear you, feeling sorry for yourself, then going:
'Crap. I should be doing some work.'
and running upstairs questioning why it is you even bother in life, and briefly thinking working in McDonalds might not be all that bad.
But you're not alone in these thoughts.
At some point, yes, you will be not able to go out because of the heaps of revision you've got to do.
At some point, yes, you will have to do ten million controlled assessments, and heaps of coursework.
At some point, yes, you will be sat in that exam hall taking your maths GCSE.
But at some point, it will be all over, and you'll be thankful that you gave up going to see that film one time, because it gave you that extra bit of revision that got you that grade you desperately needed.
And at some point, you will have a job that you're happy with, if you just stick with it and get the work done.
Okay so I'm aware now that some of you are probably now violently throwing up because of that incredibly cringey/cheesy last paragraph.
But eventhough I'm still at the yelling-at-the-tv-stage, I do keep telling myself all of this, and it does help, me think:
'You know what? I'm not going to be here forever, and I will survive!'
And if all else fails, just say to yourself;
'At least I'm not in the Hunger Games.'
Love
Elspeth x
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